Look, we’ve all been there—you’re minding your own business when one of these vintage earworms burrows into your brain and refuses to leave for approximately seven business days. These 70s gems are the musical equivalent of that one friend who shows up uninvited, drinks all your good liquor, and somehow becomes the life of the party anyway. Let’s dive into the hits that are simultaneously destroying and enhancing your playlists.
10. Morris Albert – “Feelings” (1974)
If emotional manipulation had a soundtrack, it would be “Feelings“—the song that launched a thousand therapy sessions. Released in 1974, Morris Albert’s voice somehow manages to be both aggressively earnest and suspiciously smooth (like that guy at the bar who definitely practices his pickup lines in the mirror). The song climbed to #6 on Billboard while slowly draining the emotional defenses of listeners everywhere. Later, it became the center of a copyright lawsuit when Lou Gasti claimed ownership—because apparently, someone wanted to take credit for creating the musical equivalent of public crying.
Reality Check: This is scientifically proven to be the song most likely to be stuck in your head during important job interviews and first dates. Proceed with caution.
9. Bazuka – “Dynomite” (1975)
Before there were memes, there were novelty songs based on TV catchphrases—the prehistoric ancestors of TikTok sounds, if you will. Producer Tony Camillo capitalized on J.J. Evans’ catchphrase from “Good Times” and somehow stretched it into an entire song (a skill set that would make him a billionaire in today’s content economy). With a beat as explosive as its name suggests, “Dynomite” blasted to #10 on Billboard charts and continues to energize dance floors or completely clear them, depending on the crowd’s median age.
8. Leon Haywood – “I Want to Do Something Freaky to You” (1975)
Before dating apps existed, there was Leon Haywood laying it all out there with zero ambiguity. This sultry funk classic (from the subtly titled album “Come and Get Yourself Some”) blends soul and funk like a bartender making a cocktail that’s definitely going to lead to regrettable text messages later. Haywood’s vocals are so seductively confident that listening in public should require a consent form. The song peaked at #15 on R&B charts and later got a second life when Dr. Dre sampled it—proving that the art of being smoothly explicit transcends generations.
7. Jesse Coulter – “I’m Not Lisa” (1975)
Nothing says “healthy relationship” quite like a song about being constantly compared to your partner’s ex! Colter’s haunting country ballad from her album “I’m Jessi Colter” tells the story of a woman named Julie who’s apparently living in the shadow of the much-discussed Lisa (who, by all accounts, sounds insufferable). With piano accompaniment as simple as the message is devastating, this track shot to #1 on Billboard’s country chart faster than you can say “maybe we should see other people.”
6. Shirley & Company – “Shame Shame Shame” (1974)
Before disco became a glittery juggernaut that dominated (and then spectacularly crashed) pop culture, Sylvia Robinson produced this pioneering track that’s like watching the Big Bang of platform shoes and polyester. Shirley Goodman’s vocals have the powerful persistence of your mother reminding you about that thing you promised to do three weeks ago. The song peaked at #12 and inspired a dance craze that probably caused more sprained ankles than all sports combined in 1974.
5. The Amazing Rhythm Aces – “Third Rate Romance” (1975)
Nothing captures the awkward magic of a one-night stand quite like this Russell Smith-penned narrative about two strangers meeting at a roadside diner (the Tinder of the 1970s). With lyrics that play out like a rom-com written by someone who’s been single for too long, “Third Rate Romance” topped Canadian charts and hit #14 on Billboard. The song’s laid-back country-rock vibe is like that friend who seems chill but is actually judging everyone’s life choices.
4. The Ozark Mountain Daredevils – “Jackie Blue” (1975)
Written by band members Steve Cash and Larry Lee, this mysterious track about a female bartender/drug dealer (the ultimate 70s multitasker) somehow made it onto mainstream radio despite its subject matter. Released from their album “It’ll Shine When It Shines” (a title that sounds like something your optimistic aunt would have cross-stitched onto a pillow), “Jackie Blue” climbed to #3 on Billboard’s charts. The band changed the character’s gender in the final version, which either adds intrigue or suggests they realized a song about a male drug dealer might not get radio play in 1975.
3. Carol Douglas – “Doctor’s Orders” (1975)
Long before WebMD gave everyone hypochondria, Carol Douglas was convincing us that love was the only prescription we needed (medical science strongly disagrees). Originally recorded by British singer Sunny, Douglas brought this medical metaphor to disco prominence, reaching #2 on the charts. The song suggests listening to your doctor about relationship advice—a concept that would absolutely violate several ethics codes today but made for a catchy disco hit.
2. The Outlaws – “There Goes Another Love Song” (1975)
Before country singers spent their entire careers singing about trucks and beer, The Outlaws were crafting melancholy odes to road life that made being a touring musician sound about as cheery as a dental procedure. Written by Hughie Thomasson and Monte Yoho for their self-titled debut, this track only reached #34 on Billboard but has the staying power of that one ex who still somehow shows up in your dreams years later. Their signature guitar harmonies sound like what would happen if Eagles actually knew how to rock (I said what I said).
1. Gwen McCrae – “Rocking Chair”
In an era before “Netflix and chill,” there was “Rockin’ Chair and literally chill.” Gwen McCrae’s powerhouse vocals on this Willie Clarke and Clarence Reid-penned track suggest the rocking chair in question was doing anything but gentle rocking. The song hit #1 on R&B charts and #9 on Billboard, while her husband George McCrae provided background vocals (talk about bringing work home with you). Their collaborative approach to music was either relationship goals or a future divorce waiting to happen, depending on your perspective.
